Home again - Darn it!!!

We're back in hot, stuffy, humid, sticky Fla. I repeat, this couple will not be going on anymore cruises. Island all-inclusives fit us to a tee. Here's a couple of pictures from the island.




























Oh yes - never give the camera to your DH and tell him to take some interesting pictures of the hotel. HE said he was taking pictures of the supersized chess set.

DH was smart enough not to try and get her phone number. So don't ask, we don't know who she is. Strangely enough, the guy who was playing the chess match with her won.

Half-Nekkid Thursday Tattoo Edition

The moment you've all been waiting for, the climax of PanhandlePalooza!!
I got mine on a Thursday, natch.


TET got her 25 year old kitty re-inked on Friday night.


Big thanks to Sandy @ Alans Cool Ink in Destin, Florida. If you are ever in Destin, stop by and tell Sandy that the "Middle-Aged Broads" sent ya!!

Just Another Day in Paradise

I´m loving it, so is the Geek. Went on an excursion around the southern tip of D.R. yesterday. Very interesting, think Thailand countryside and building methods, Guam style food. We felt right at home. Went shopping on the economy this morning, think pushy vendors on St Maartin´s. Dinner, think European style dining, umpteen courses, rich black coffee, fabulous desserts. Wonderful day at the beach, these guys do not stint on the alcohol or service. We´ve had no problems with any of the normal travellers complaints, knock on wood.

Yes, there are some punctuation and spelling problems in these posts. The computer is insisting on typing in Espanol. The employees get a kick out of our bad Spanish.

I don´t want to go home.

Yes Jinx, there is a casino. The resort trolley stops at it every 20 minutes. But you can smoke anywhere you want here so you don´t have to go to the casino for a cig.

Time for my late night mochachino. BTW, the food is fantastic and there is plenty of it.

PanhandlePalooza

Day 2

After the pick-up debacle at O’Charlies, the 3 Amigas headed home to catch the Geek up on our adventures so far. Poor Geek. He had had a long week so far, and with TET and I in the house, his weekend was looking grim. After giving him our leftovers to have a late dinner with, I crashed on the futon for an uncomfortable nights sleep. Thank goodness for Flexeril!! Upon complaining to TJ next morning, she was very quick to inform me that now I knew how she felt when visiting me!!!!! YIKES!!! All I can say is that one day when we’re finished paying for Surlymon’s college we will try to fix up the sleeping situations.

We spent the rest of Friday lazing about, recovering from the nightmare that was I-10, and preparing for Round 2 at the tattoo parlor. We decided to go early, in case Dip and Stick had skipped their appointments giving us an early evening. As expected, Dip and Stick had not shown, but in their place was a young woman getting a shoulder tattoo. TET and I stuck our heads in the room to chat with Sandy, who asked to see my tat from the night before. I yanked up my pants leg and told everyone that when I woke up on Friday I asked TET and TJ exactly when this tattoo was supposed to hurt. Laughing at myself, I looked up and got a good look at the youngster in the chair. She looked about 18, rather large and was gripping the chair for dear life as huge tears rolled down her face. Holy Shit. Feeling foolish, I made a hasty exit as TET continued to chat with Sandy.

“Crying Cathy” kept us waiting right up until our appointment times. We were not even sure she was gonna make it thru, as she was tore up just getting the outline!!! In researching the Dos and Don’ts of getting tattoos, one of the things they tell you is YES, its gonna hurt. The tattoo artist can do NOTHING about the pain, and does NOT want to listen to you piss and moan and carry on while getting your tattoo. Apparently Crying Cathy didn’t do her research, which meant that Sandy was in a less than good mood by the time TET got in the chair.

While we were waiting, TJ decided that she needed to have her ear cartlidge pierced. I told her flat out that there was no way in hell I was gonna join her on this little venture, but I did grab a camera. See for yourself how much fun THAT was.


Finally it was TET’s turn to get ink. As I mentioned before, TET had a 25 year old cougar on her thigh that needed re-inking, and as her tat was gonna take longer than TJ’s, she went first. Sandy was in a foul mood from Crying Cathy and her gang and now she had to deal with us. I was very glad I had gone the night before. See for yourself how enthused Sandy was to be dealing with a bunch of Middle Aged Broads on an otherwise beautiful Friday night.


In honor of The Yarn Harlot, I brought my knitting. TET bought sock yarn in Asheville a year ago, and I was almost finished with sock #1, and what better place to finish it off than at a tattoo parlor while TET was getting ink. Sandy almost fell off her chair when they told her what I was doing—“Nobody has ever knitted in my store before!!”

Can’t say that now!!!


TET models the finished sock mid-tattoo.
TET's tat took 1 1/2 hours, and there was much bleeding involved. Stuck pigs have got nothing on TET. TET claimed that the process was not so much painfull as it was abrasive. My pain threshold at this point was registering sunburn--hot and tight was the most discomfort I felt.

After burning a couple of fags, it was TJ's turn in the hot seat. Threats upon my life prevent me from giving any photographic evidence that TJ did indeed get a second tattoo, but I will tell you that it hurt like hell, and I'm not getting one there. As you can see here, Sandy was getting tired of us Middle Aged Broads and our boring-assed tattoos.

Sometime before midnight, we left Sandy in peace. I can't recommend her enough, so if you're ever in Destin, stop by and tell her the Middle Aged Broads sent ya.This post is long enough for now, so we will finish up this story tomorrow on Half Nekkid Thursday. Ya'll come back now, ya hear?

First day in Paradise.

Well, it's the end of our first full day in the Dominican Republic and I'm ready to stay another couple of weeks. All of you Dragon Survivors, think Guam. I'm in heaven. Beautiful beaches, palm trees close to the waters edge providing shade, soothing and cool ocean breezes. I am being spoiled and will never, ever, do another cruise. The rooms are huge, showers more than big enough for two, a whirlpool tub, a living room area, original artwork, balcony with table and chairs. The Geek says I should mention the topless beaches. Got that too. And a beautiful, clean, super-humongus pool with built-in loungers and swim-up bar. Actually three pools like that with jacuzzi's. All you can eat buffets (5), a la carte resturants (5), bars galore, beachside massages, waiters on the beach that seem hurt if you don't ask them to bring you something. Same in the resturants. And free Internet connection. Bye, time to have my after-dinner mochaccino.

Girls Gone Wild--PanhandlePalooza

Day One

Yes indeed, 3 middle-aged broads turned loose in the Panhandle for a week. If you are a nervous type, you should stop reading right now, cause we did it all. The poor Geek will never be the same, as he was our host for this vacation. Blood and guts, food and fun, life and death, wool p0rn and ceiling fans, and that is all that I can remember after the week it took to recover.

We begin our adventure travelling down to TET's house. I stayed the night at the Sty, and TET was heard to complain to the Earthpig about the amount of STUFF I had brought for the trip. Earthpig was not sympathetic, telling her that she had never been TDY with me, and that the majority of my suitcase was filled with every pair of underwear that I owned. What can I say, I hate to do laundry while away from home.

Thursday May 4th dawns bright and early and TET and I hit the road in her new Mazda 6 5-speed with cruise control. TET drives the first leg, and I plan to drive after Jacksonville as we head west. First leg goes smoothly, as we piddle around stopping when we need to and being in no general hurry. And then we hit I-10. Not to brag or anything, but TET and I between us have literally been around the world, and I have driven many many roads in many countries, and even on the "wrong" side of the road, and I have NEVER been on a more BORING, ENDLESS stretch of highway than I-10.
It took forever. And ever. There was nothing to see, nowhere to stop, nothing to do.
NOTHING.

On the west side of Tallahassee, TET had had enough of my granny driving (I will only go 5 over posted)so she tried her hand at I-10. Didn't matter. Even at 80/85 mph, it was BORING. ENDLESS. NOTHING. Absolutely exhausting.

We persevere, and arrive at Geek Central before the sun sets. TET and I are both legless after so many hours in the car, and terribly worn out from the time we spent on I-10. TJ, our unsuspecting hostess, is also quite tired as she got up with the rooster next door and spent the day cleaning her house. Silly girl.

The plan was for us to go into Destin on Friday and get tattoos. After many years of debate, I had finally found the perfect design and had steeled myself into believing that I could stand the pain without making a scene. TET planned on getting her 25 year old cougar re-inked, and TJ was undecided as to what her second tat was gonna be. With these plans all made, I hit the shower to get the travel scum off of me. By the time I got out, plans had changed. You gotta watch that TET at all times. She decided that a kamikazi approach to my first tattoo was a sure way to avoid a scene, so off we went to Destin. Thursday night.

All the research I had done about tattoos said you should have a good nights sleep, full stomach, calm attitude, etc. I had been travelling for 2 days, had just spent 12 hours on the road, had NOT been sleeping well for the last week due to ear infections, was starving to death, and not a bit calm. You know, my usual state--a nervous wreck.

So, we arrive at Alan's Cool Ink about 40 minutes to closing time. The artist that TJ wanted was in Germany, so I was going to be inked by Sandy, the owners daughter.
Sandy was tied up with a couple of drunks that we named Dip and Stick, and so we had to wait for her to settle with them before beginning. I was still very tired, so I got a pillow out of the car and went to lay out on the sofa while waiting. Sandy saw me carrying a pillow, and got nervous, thinking that I thought my ankle tattoo was going to be done with me laying down, as opposed to sitting up in the chair. TET just laughed and said I was napping. Dip and Stick finally decided upon their designs, but not who was gonna go first, and they left a deposit to come back the next day, when they were sober. Yeah, right. Sandy was well and truly irritated with them, and didn't look like she was ready to put up with a nervous middle-aged broad. She was great.

TET and TJ whipped out the cameras, I plopped down in the chair and Sandy got to work. TET decided to hold my hand, in case I needed it when she put the needle on me the first time. I clamped down, Sandy started, I felt the slightest pinch and that was it. I dropped TETs hand, leaned over and looked to make sure Sandy was still inking me. IT DID NOT HURT Ya'll. Its a good thing I had witnesses, because even as I type this I know ya'll think I'm lying. I was THERE and I don't believe it.



We have several theories to explain the lack of pain while getting an ankle tattoo.
TET believes that her kamikazi approach of riding in a car all day is the reason, TJ thinks that wearing bloused fatigues tucked in combat boots is the reason, Fozzie thinks that getting Surlymon thru Jr and Sr High School has destroyed all my nerve endings. Earthpig said that sometimes, they just don't hurt. Whatever the case may be, I seem to have won the Tattoo Lottery, and therefore will probably not push my luck with a second tattoo. Or if I do, it won't be where TJ got her second tattoo.
But that is a story for another day.

After getting inked, TET and TJ give deposits and make appointments to get theirs on Friday night. We decide to head over to O'Charlies for food before heading home to the Geek, who hasn't bothered to check his messages and doesn't know where we are.
Our waitperson is named Kelly, and tired as we all are, we don't know immediately if Kelly is a girl or a guy. Kelly is in her early 20s, long blonde hair tied back in a ponytail, bound breasts, forearm tattoos. We were tired, what can I say?

As our meal progresses, I am half asleep in my soup, TET is going strong and TJ is a little worse for wear. Kelly stops by the table, and works up the nerve to ask whose cell phone is that with the rainbow charms? As TJ struggles to answer that she just likes rainbows, it occurs to Kelly that she has made a HUGE mistake. Being half asleep, I was not immediately aware what was going on, and when I heard TJ stumbling out her answer, I swing around and say "Oh, we left her in Detroit, she didn't come on this trip". Poor Kelly. We were not trying to be rude, TJ was quite flattered, I think. But we felt bad that we were so clumsy, and Kelly was embarrased. Oh well. What do you expect from a bunch of Middle Aged Broads??