Warning: Rant Follows

Why can’t you damn litter bugs keep your damn trash to yourself? Does the side of the road look like the county trash dump to you? I’ve got a news flash: IT ISN’T! Keep your damn trash where it belongs – inside a trashcan or on your floorboard. It does not belong in my yard, the yard next door, three blocks down the street in the gutter, in the back of your pickup so it can fly around as you do twice the speed limit through our subdivision, etc. Get the message?

Many long years ago, a wise for her years best friend told me that throwing trash out the car windows was stupid; it is your trash and you should dispose of it properly. That may not seem like a great piece of wisdom but believe me when it is coming from a 16-year olds mouth you know it must be true. I listened to her and agreed. It is my trash and I should take it with me. Besides I believe in responsibility – it is not someone else’s responsibility to pick up and throw away my trash. It is mine. My parents receive kudos for teaching me about responsibility. These days too many kids and young adults have no clue about it. That is another rant.

This morning I do the dreaded chore of taking our trash out for the trash truck to get. Lo and behold, there is debris scattered in my yard. I know it’s not our debris. We have a trashcan for stuff like that. So I get another bag to pick up the crap in my yard. Let’s see, someone hung onto this Micky-D’s cup at least 20 miles to throw it out in my front yard. They weren’t just passing by because there is no other way out of the subdivision I live in. So either they were almost to a home (theirs or someone else’s) or they had kept the cup, went to a home, left there with the cup and less than a half-a-mile later threw it out. Either way – why didn’t they just use the trash can at that house? Jumping jehoshaphat! Holy mackerel – pure-ass laziness and stupidity. (That’s not what I said when I saw my front yard. I toned it down for some of my friends.)

It wasn’t just a Micky-D’s cup, there were the cigarette packages, the Wally-world bag, the 6-pack bottle carton complete with 6 empty bottles scattered across the yard. The assorted school papers (I wouldn’t want my Mom to see that F you got either Billy Joe Bob), a plastic orange juice bottle, the Taco Bell bag (Taco Bell is 34 miles from here, couldn’t you wait till you got home???) Actually, this is a normal weekend haul from my front yard. Sometimes I even get a 12-pack of bottles*. However, this is not a weekend. In addition, it isn’t summer here anymore. What the F?????? This debris wasn’t here two mornings ago. What the H????? Got busy in the last night or two, didn’t it?

My neighbor across the street has taken to throwing the debris he gets back into the middle of the street. He says he doesn’t want it either. I usually pick it up because I don’t want to drive over the glass bottles. At least I know he is as pissed as I am about some stupid, immature, inconsiderate idiot that drives by. Some litterbugs have quite a set of balls. I know this because they have the audacity to toss their litter into my yard as they pass by WHILE I’m standing there watching them. Everyone in the neighborhood now knows I have strong lungs and a strong vocabulary. See I was paying attention to that drill instructor in basic training.

It’s not just kids – its adults! I mean people over the age of 30 who should know better. Under the age of 30 should also, but I want you to understand that it is old fogies, people my age, being this stupid. Pull your head out people. If you don’t want it in your car/truck, what makes you think I want it in my yard?

I have a theory about the beer bottles. Those are from underage drinkers who want to get rid of the evidence before they get home. Like Mom & Dad aren’t going to smell the beer on you. Or else they are from good ole boys who need to make more room in their floorboards for the 6-pack they are about to drink. Either theory is plausible out here in the middle of nowhere.

And two more things while I’m at it: Just because the lot is empty doesn’t make it the county dump either. The side of a highway isn't a trash can either. Take your damn trash home!!!!!!!

*Side note: Yes, I know that in some states you can turn those bottles in for a deposit. Not here, so they really don’t do me any good.