Was it worth it?

“Was it worth it?
Yes, it’s worth living for
Was it worth it?
Yes, it’s worth giving more”*


I am going to riff off/rip off Dad Gone Mad today. He is about to undergo “Operation Testikill” and since Fozzie has had the same, I thought I’d share.

To have a vasectomy, both husband and wife must sign the paperwork agreeing to the surgery. Fozzie and I were married on a Friday afternoon in July, and the very next week we were scheduled to see the doctor. I was in a state of panic. There was no way they were gonna let him have the surgery after only a week of marriage, not to mention when they found out Fozzie’s daughter Stinkypoo was adopted. Fozzie just smiled and told me to let him do all the talking.

We get in the doctor’s office, and begin the interview. How old we were (Fozzie was 32 and I was still barely clinging to 29), how many children we had. Fozzie answered that we had 2, ages 12 and 5. Doctor wants to know why we want the vasectomy and Fozzie looks him dead in the eye and says that he does not want a 5 year old running around the house when he is 40. I almost passed out in the floor as the doctor, without skipping a beat, pulls out a pad of paper and a pen and says “this is how we’re gonna do it” and begins drawing pictures of an undercarriage.

Whew. The procedure was scheduled for the next Friday, so Fozzie can have the weekend to recover. I still believe that Fozzie chose that particular weekend just so he could get out of taking me to the Maxi Priest concert. Vasectomy vs Reggae? Fozzie reasoned that he at least got good drugs for the vasectomy, so it was a no-brainer.

Fozzie is a strapping 6’3, goofy-looking redheaded Irish boy, which means that he will sunburn on a cloudy day and bruise if you look at him cross-eyed. The devestation caused by one small incision to his balls was unbelievable. His entire undercarriage (except the very head) was BLACK, with the bruising spread out to his lower abdomen and towards the thighs. I almost cried—I thought for sure his dick was rotting off. The doctor took one look and said “Whoa!!! I’ve done a lot of vasectomys and I’ve never had bruising like that”.

All this meant Fozzie took longer than normal to heal up, and we had told Surlymon that Fozzie had had to have a shot to his testicles. Surlymon was finding it hard to play gently with Fozzie post surgery, and we had to tell him something.

About a month after the vasectomy, the 3 of us had gone down island to a local shoe store. Surlymon was starting kindergarten and was all kinds of wound up about life. Fozzie was sitting quietly on a bench, and Surlymon came flying at him, trying out his new shoes. Fozzie grabbed at him to keep him off his lap, and in a voice that echoed off the walls, Surlymon says “Does it still hurt where they gave you a shot in your TESTICLES???”

Dead silence fell over the store. Poor Fozzie turned as red as his hair as he tried to shush Surlymon, and I had to walk to the back of the store so I could laugh hysterically.
Its been 13 years, and I still laugh hysterically over that one.



“Cause it’s worth it
Yes, it’s worth living for
Cause it’s worth it
Yes, it’s worth giving more
And it’s worth it”*

*Was it worth it? 1991 Pet Shop Boys